Healing Inner-Child Wounds Caused by Abandonment or ACEs | CBT Skills
youtu.be
Dr. Donnelly Snipes' presentation on healing the inner child delves into behaviors that traumatize children, often inflicted by caregivers such as parents, teachers, and nannies. This trauma can lead to complex PTSD (CPTSD) and manifests in various unhealthy behaviors as children grow into adults. The inner child concept refers to unresolved childhood trauma, which results in feelings of unsafety and confusion. Critical caregivers can make children feel unworthy, leading them to develop unhealthy behaviors to avoid rejection. These behaviors are a form of communication, with adult tantrums often reflecting unresolved childhood trauma. Children internalize caregiver abandonment as personal failure and think in dichotomous terms, making it crucial for caregivers to explain their actions to avoid misinterpretation. Shaming, criticizing, and belittling can deeply traumatize children, as they internalize these negative messages. Dysfunctional communication and manipulation teach unhealthy dynamics, and invalidating children's feelings can cause significant harm. Enmeshment, where caregivers control a child's life, leads to feelings of rejection and unworthiness, creating anxiety and insecurity. The inner child is often prevented from developing independence and initiative, leading to a fear of abandonment and complex PTSD. Clients' behaviors in adulthood may stem from childhood lessons, with an inauthentic false self seeking approval to avoid rejection. Encouraging the development of an authentic true self involves reflecting on childhood experiences and recognizing that caregivers' issues are not personal faults. Perfectionism and passive aggression can be linked to family roles in dysfunctional settings, where children may assume caregiver roles. Overdeveloped parent scripts make children feel responsible for their caregivers' issues, leading to low self-esteem and emotional regulation difficulties in adulthood. Healing involves helping clients feel safe and recognizing that their trauma was not their fault. Addressing both deserved and undeserved guilt is crucial, as is developing distress tolerance skills to manage emotions. Trauma can freeze emotional development at the age it occurred, causing childlike reactions in adults. The nervous system reacts to stimuli reminiscent of past threats, triggering stress responses like fight, flee, freeze, fawn, or flop. Healing through reparenting involves creating safety for exploration and using mnemonics like 'CARES' and 'VISCERAL' to foster secure attachment and validate the inner child's feelings. Emotional and cognitive intimacy with the inner child is essential, as is providing safety and boundaries. Encouraging self-efficacy and reframing failure helps clients understand that failure does not equate to worthlessness. Recognizing and validating the inner child's feelings can help manage intense reactions to criticism and perceived rejection. Examining problematic behaviors and their origins, role-playing new responses, and processing unresolved anger and regrets are vital steps in healing. Creating a personal bill of rights and fostering a safe, nonjudgmental environment for authenticity can help clients integrate their inner child beyond distress. Communicating with partners about past trauma and its triggers can also aid in healing. Compassion-focused therapy helps develop self-compassion by understanding and exploring gut reactions and identifying protective learned behaviors.
Dr. Donnelly Snipes' presentation on healing the inner child delves into behaviors that traumatize c