What Is Splitting, What Causes It and How Does It Impact Relationships
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The content segments discuss the concept of splitting, which refers to the cognitive process of seeing someone or oneself as either all good or all bad. It is common in young children but can also develop in adulthood, especially after experiencing traumatic events or negative relationship patterns. Splitting can extend to self-perception, where individuals view themselves as either all good or all bad based on their performance and fear of repeating past dangerous situations.
In relationships, splitting manifests as control and chaos. Trauma memories serve as triggers, prompting a fight or flight response without considering the facts or context. Splitting creates emotional chaos for both parties involved, with dysregulation, anger, fear, frustration, and confusion. The person who splits becomes hypervigilant, while the non-splitting person feels the need to walk on eggshells.
To address splitting, it is crucial to recognize it as a trauma response and protective behavior. Understanding the underlying traumas and memories associated with splitting is more helpful than focusing on specific triggers. Developing awareness of how these behaviors developed and why they serve as a safety mechanism is important. Exploring traumas and memories causing feelings of unsafety and identifying major triggers and vulnerabilities can help create a safer environment in relationships.
Being mindful of behaviors, recognizing vulnerabilities, and developing a safety plan are recommended. Giving the person who splits space and time alone to downregulate and process what is happening can be empowering. Therapy can be beneficial for individuals to explore their traumas and vulnerabilities and identify strategies for change. Restoring a sense of safety and empowerment in the moment through grounding techniques, distress tolerance, and radical acceptance is important. Ultimately, there are various tools and strategies available to address splitting.
The content segments discuss the concept of splitting, which refers to the cognitive process of seei